i'm trying to come up with some sort of personal reference for what it means, in the year 2005, to travel to india. in one sense, it is nothing. thousands if not hundreds of thousands, if not millions do so daily. many without much contemplation of the feat at all. but i am not one of them. i will contemplate it to death. i will analyze it, compare it, categorize it.
for instance, i was watching a biography of willa cather (one of my favorite authors) on PBS. she left the university of nebraska upon her graduation in 1890 and moved to pittsburgh. her journey, in terms of physical toil, was harder than mine. yet, when she arrived in pittsburgh, she was not an outsider in a strange world. as such, in another sense, my journey will be more dramatic than cather's. that's exciting.
i suppose what is causing me the greatest apprehension is not the culture shock. that i can absorb. 34 years of age, having been a school teacher, a father, a work site supervisor for mentally ill patients, i can handle culture shock. i'm more nervous about the sheer exhaustion that i'm going to feel. i guess that's the biggest difference between the 20 year old me that went to england (my first overseas trip) and the 34 year old me. in 1990, i didn't even give jet lag a thought. not the slightest consideration. of course, it hit me like a ton of bricks on my sixth day there. i barely remember oxford because i was so tired. despite my earnest desire to soak in everything, i had to sleep.
now, i find myself planning opportunities to address the exhaustion. i'll arrive on monday morning at 12:35 in the morning. should i take all of monday to recover? i'm considering it. isn't that shameful? i suppose, in this train of thought writing that i'm engaged in at the moment, i'm flushing out the means to tell me self to suck it the hell up. i'm going to be, not half, but ALL the way around the world. i'm going to get to see delhi. unbelievable. there will be time for rest when i'm done.
suck it up, rick.
Wednesday, October 19, 2005 at 07:35PM 
